Making room

Good, new things don't usually come until we make room for them. Sometimes that means letting go of things that were comfortable, and pretty-ok, and good enough and jumping into the void.

One of the most visceral experiences of this phenomena, that I experience on a fairly regular basis, is painting over a decent, but not completely satisfying painting, with white gesso so that I can re-use the canvas. This week I let go of and entire year's worth of work. I simply decided that, while I was happy and grateful for the things I learned while creating them, the pieces weren't ones I wanted to offer to the world. They were technically good, but I didn't feel anything when I looked at them. They didn't compel me. They didn't feel alive. So I said goodbye.

It felt sad, and terrifyingly thrilling. Jumping-into-the void thrilling. I shed a few tears, for sure! I wondered if I was making a horrible mistake; like when you're halfway through a drastic haircut.

But in the wake of my massacre, of all of the paintings that came out of me when I was trying to be my idea of a  "good artist" , I was left with stretches of white. A clean slate. A chance to show up honestly, and be whatever artist I am.

Welcome to the journey. Thank you for sharing it with me.